During this season of simplicity and year-end, I have been forced to reflect on the core things happening in my heart and soul this year–a time of sombre reflections. There are a few things that surfaced, and here is [the first] one I want to share with my church family:
If there is one thing I want to be known for at the end of my life... it is my foolish desire for the unity of God's people in the local church and my childish hope for God's people to love one another beyond their differences; especially all the non-essential differences.
Unity and being a peacemaker have been embedded in my psyche since I was young. I've seen and experienced the trauma of conflicts and people taking sides in the church because of what each perceives as a just cause. I've been on many sides, and I've seen myself being the offender and the offended. Regardless of whose more right or whose way is better, everyone hurts, and nobody really wins. Nobody.
The topic of unity is emphasized throughout the scripture, probably because of how the church is often prone to divisions. And that's why this unity we are called to is marked not by tolerance but by how we love in both quality and quantity.
Jesus commanded his people to "love one another," "love your neighbours," and not only that, "love your enemies." Paul tells the Corinthian church that even if they have a lot of giftings and do a lot of things if he "have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."
This unity that comes from love exists when we step down and into the other's journey. Unity in love is experienced when we have a posture of listening to one another. Unity is experienced when we bring each other toward life-being a blessing to one another, not giving up on one another. Unity is when we are not demanding of others, but rather, our pursue for others. Unity within the church is achieved when we all recognize we didn't choose the church we are in, but we were chosen to be here; God puts each of us here for his purpose and for our growth in this season.
Love comes down, and unity brings up.
So, I learned to be careful of how fragile unity and love are. Our actions and words matter within the church; how we speak to and about one another matters. Be cautious of words that diminish others or sarcasm that devalues others. Be mindful of when our thoughts and words tear down rather than build up.
I, myself, have learned this lesson as I reflected on my years in the church. The sharp words and judgements that I had about another person eventually came back to haunt me because God was transforming this person in his own timing and in his own way–not my way. My responsibility was not to stand and critique but should've been how to step in and bring them up where they are at. My role is to be a brother in Christ, not an adversary.
Being a pastor has changed a lot of how I view people in the church. I understood more of the pain and struggle my father went through in his ministry, especially in the area of unity in the church–where relationships cut deep both ways. In the past, I wrestled with (and complained about) the different maturity of faith in people; I preferred to focus more on one group than the others. But the biggest lesson I've learned (so far) is that to be a pastor is to be a shepherd of what God has placed and chosen to be in His church. We are not employers or CEOs choosing and picking who we think are the "best"(if there is such a thing.)–we are not managers–but we are shepherds, gathering the strong and the weak, discipling the young and the mature in faith, those that listen and those that wander, especially those that wander.
Maybe some would contend I, as a leader, am naive, immature or simplistic, but I would rather be called a fool whose life is lived seeking this peace and unity than to look back in my life and see a bunch of corpses and casualties behind my wake. I am not willing to live with the latter.
And so this season, I am reminded to seek forgiveness. To those who I have offended, both words, actions, and inactions. To those who I was not able to help or do what they expected–to those who I have disappointed.
I am truly sorry.
And so, in this season, I pray God's Spirit of unity and forgiveness will shine through in each of our hearts. That His love in us is greater than the hurt and grudge each of us might be carrying. And if there are people in your life you need to seek forgiveness or to reconcile with, seek the help of the Holy Spirit first and ask God to pour into you an overflowing of love, grace, and mercy for the other–especially those inside our own church family. Seek to know love as we seek to love others.
Pursue and desire peace and unity; that's the only way the church can move forward in faith and in His blessings. I pray as we move into 2025, we build up together–leave no one behind–and in unity.