Lent Day 5

"Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee."
—Augustine

The sound of thunder and hammering lasted throughout the day. The sky was quiet, but our roofer finally started replacing our damaged roof from last year's hailstorm.

There was a lot of ripping, scrapping, hammering, and stomping. It was a very distracting day, but I knew it had to be done, and it was good that it was being done.

Getting a new roof means ripping the old one down to its foundation. It's not just the shingles on the surface but the layers of materials underneath it.

I've been reflecting on who I am as a person this Lent. What is my false self, and what is my true self. What are the barriers to living out my true self—my core calling and purpose—today?

I will need the whole of Lent to unravel this question, and it will require a lot of ripping and digging. It will be quite uncomfortable and disorienting. It's painful because the question I am asking is not what needs to change in my circumstances but what of myself needs to be changed—what false aspects of myself need to be ripped off so I can be true in any circumstance.

Reflecting on our false selves can be awkward and uncomfortable. It is like looking into a mirror and finding a stranger in it. But if we look beneath that stranger, we might (re)discover the origin of how they came to be—the events, relationships, and, ultimately, the wounds that created this false persona.

We are strangers growing old with new scars every day.
We are also children who've been given new mercies every day.

God's grace and mercy. That's my path to finding my true self.

"Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning."
—Lamentation 3:23